When a couple is going to divorce and there are children involved, their primary concern should be on the children’s well-being. What is best for my child? How will the divorce affect them? The age old statement, “stay together for the kids” is a completely outdated concept with a million and one different flaws in theory. According to a 2013 statistic, 1.5 million children in the U.S become children of divorce every year.
While divorce isn’t something a couple foresees at the beginning of their marriage, knowing how to handle the divorce with tactic will help your child or children recover, and eventually flourish due to the separation. Likewise, understanding how a divorce actually affects your child will make the years to come easier on both you, and the child. Below we go through the common steps of a divorce, from childhood to adulthood.
Letting and supporting your child to feel the way they want to feel can help move the process along. Having “the talk” is shocking to any child, no matter if the separation is long overdue, it could feel like a huge blow to them. Psychologist E. Mavis Hetheringtin of University of Virginia did a study in 2002 that found that many children experience short-term negative effects due to divorce. Some of those effects are: anxiety, anger, shock, and disbelief. The study suggested that these negative effects usually go away by the second year.
It’s a common misconception that children of divorce aren’t “normal” or are less than the “other kids”. This assumption is extremely false. First off, in the U.S. divorce is just as common as couples staying together. So just because your child of divorce that in no way makes them abnormal. Going further, in 2011, sociologist Paul R. Amato, then at Pennsylvania State University studied children several years after a divorce. He found that the child’s emotional behavior, academic achievement, delinquency, self-confidence, and their social relationships were, on average, similar to the children whose parents were still together.
When a child of divorce grows up to an adult, they are finally able to examine how the divorce has affecting them. Adults of divorce are more likely to react differently than in the prior years. Now it’s time for them to build a relationship, and possibly get married. Scientific research doesn’t support the view that issues with divorce in adulthood is necessarily true. Adults are extremely complex, and it’s believed that the way they handle social situations, and emotional/psychological troubles could be directly related to how the were raised, and if they received proper love and care.
Getting the right kind of help through this difficult time may make the process not only easier on you, but your children. The Denver divorce attorneys of D.R. Jones are supportive, knowledgeable, and wholeheartedly care. Contact us today for a free consultation: (855) 580-1586
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